Ridiculous Headline

Picture from - http://www.tvjab.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/valerie-bertinelli.jpg

I just read this headline on people.com -

"Valerie Bertinelli Loves Herself More Than Pizza"

Yeah, no shit. I wish she would stop talking about her fucking weight loss because she just sounds completely vapid. She already has kind of a vacant stare, she doesn't need to compound it by saying stupid shit.

STDs Flow In Social Networks

Another Post by Uki Girl (see below for explanation of who the fuck is Uki Girl) -

Ok, so this article actually had a factual basis, which compared social network conections to the spread of STDs in some complex algorithm. However, I just love the title of the article. And also, I'd love to someday map out all of my Facebook connections. Like, print out everyone's profile picture, stick it on our wall and start connecting with different colored pieces of yarn. Like in the good old days of Facebook when they had that feature that showed all of your incestuous connections with everyone who friended you. But think of what it would look like! Just in my group of college friends, I know of at least one girl who would have like 18 pieces of yarn attached to her picture (ah, college, the age of being a slut and chalking it up to "experimentation"). You could have red yarn for hooking up, blue for hating each other, green for that one guy in the drunken frat that swears he made out with you but you still can't verify...in other words, one big multicolored trip down memory lane. Anyone down for a weekend project?

Picture - http://www.itsyoursexlife.com/photos/0000/0081/gyt_std_test_faq.jpg
Full Story - http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/10/08/social.networks.connected/index.html?iref=newssearch

Helen Keller Is A Liar

One of the contributing editors wanted to share her thoughts on some very important issues - Helen Keller and STDs. In the interest of diversifying the Poop League and maybe touching on some topical issues, I give you this post and the next one by Uki Girl.

Washington (CNN) - A bronze statue of Helen Keller was unveiled at the U.S. Capitol on Wednesday as lawmakers praised her as a trailblazer and an inspiration for those with disabilities. The statue shows Keller - who lost her sight and hearing to illness when she was 19 months old - standing at a water pump as a 7-year-old, a look of recognition on her face as water streams into her hand. It depicts the moment in 1887 when teacher Anne Sullivan spelled "W-A-T-E-R" into one of the child's hands as she held the other under the pump. It's the moment when Keller realized meanings were hidden in the manual alphabet shapes Sullivan had taught her to make with her hands.

Let me preface this by saying that I am fully aware that I'm going straight to hell. With that being said, am I the only one that thinks the Helen Keller thing is crap? Just think about it....this girl can't hear, can't see, can't talk (which goes without saying...excuse the pun), and it's also 18 fucking 87. There is no way in hell that she can gain a full understanding of the English language by some woman rubbing patterns on her hand! I mean really, how does one make the connection between "what the f is this woman doing to my palm" and "oh, water! Clearly that's what she's trying to tell me!". I'm sorry, but I don't buy it. I'm 24, and trying to learn Ukrainian after already speaking 2 other languages and hearing Ukrainian around me my whole life is balls hards. I have a hard time believing that in a time not long after the fucking Gold Rush such a miracle could occur. Just sayin.

Picture from - http://contracostabootcamp.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/helen-keller.jpg

Jude Law Sucks

Jude Law is in a new production of Hamlet and I guess all of the Broadway nerds are fucking jizzing their pants over him.

The New York Times said, "If vigor were all in acting Shakespeare, Jude Law would be a gold medal Hamlet. Playing the doomed Prince of Denmark in the barnstorming production that opened on Tuesday night at the Broadhurst Theater, directed by Michael Grandage, Mr. Law approaches his role with the focus, determination and adrenaline level of an Olympic track competitor staring down an endless line of hurdles."
Full Story - http://theater2.nytimes.com/2009/10/07/theater/reviews/07hamlet.html?scp=1&sq=hamelt,%20jude%20law&st=cse

Whatever. In my book, Jude Law is a prick and it doesn't matter if he's in a hit Broadway play or blockbuster movie, he's still going to be a prick. How's his track record as a father? Um, he cheated on his wife with his kids' nanny and he just had a daughter that he apparently hasn't even seen yet. Nice going - "Jude Law approaches fatherhood like ghetto-ass-hood-rat guest on the Maury Povich show." That's my review. Also, I just wanted to post the promo picture of him for Hamlet because he looks like a strung out tool bag.

Picture from - http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_X6Isw4ybb4U/Si4f0cyfDtI/AAAAAAAAfS4/g1J-DP14YoM/s400/jude-law-hamlet-promos-01.jpg

Happiness Comes In the Form Of Puppies

About a year ago, before I started this shitty blog, I use to get through my day by watching a live stream of six Shiba puppies from San Francisco. I literally watch 6 tiny puppies, shit, eat and sleep for 10 hours a day. They didn't really do much but it just made all the shit I have to put up with at work tolerable and I didn't feel like blowing my brains out every second of the day. Well anyway, the site that their breeder used to stream the video just announced it was their birthday today. They have a couple videos linked to the website that shows what they look like now. Fucking A, I'm starting to cry. Goddammit!

Current Videos of the Shiba 6 - http://www.ustream.tv/SFShiba

Picture From - https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXfoebOQcPZFE88T38Gy2x5Wj7YtsS8j8LQ81s3bs9Va39-xAGfHZAYEIkXx_ws2Pfzp2JwJsG7bjZTB_waJuVkcwzXbTlydcyL-kB2GQX8l-eN6kNmetbDWKpBdyiVkJgQ06Iw7Sy_f8/s320/pup2.JPG

Font Row Tickets - Fail

Picture from - http://www.topcultured.com/topics/entertainment/

Someone Save Me

One of my boss just sent me this email:

Can you call his assistant and see if Island Sushi works for him tomorrow? You can let her know that I am a little paranoid about swine flu and thought that place would be good because it is really good and it is usually pretty sparsely populated.

They can get back to us in the morning but that was my thought.

Thanks,
X

I fucking hate my job and probably my life even more. Dammit....