The Skinny Fat Chick Says Dumb Shit

By all accounts, Jennifer Love Hewitt is suppose to be really nice and considering people have been calling her things like "Jennifer Love Chew-It", I don't want to be too hard on her. BUT (and yes, she does have a huge ass) she so fucking retarded that's it's hard not to make fun of her. She's like a puppy that shits in your shoes - obviously it couldn't help itself because it has a brain the size of a pea but SON OF A BITCH that little ball of fur is gonna get it!

Jennifer Love Hewitt wants girls to love their bodies as they are, she says in the new issue of People in which she dispenses diet and exercise tips. (sic) Despite her mental makeover, Jennifer, whose boyfriend once called her "pear ass," still wishes she looked like a supermodel. "I'd want to have Gisele Bundchen's body. Even though she's tall and skinny, she does have curves ... and I think that's hot," she said. "Halle Berry also is kind of amazing."

Is she serious? She's done nothing but bitch about the media's obsession with her weight and how society should concentrate on being healthy instead of skinny and then she fucking gives an interview where she says - I love my body but it kind of sucks compared to other people. WTF? Fur ball doesn't get that she's reinforcing the things she's bitching about. She's just another stupid celebrity but instead of being the kind I can laugh out, i.e. Lindsay Blow-han, she's just the annoying, whiny kind, i.e. Kate Gosselin. Love needs to either get fat and get it over with or get a drug addiction and actually be something in Hollywood.

Article from - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/16/jennifer-love-hewitt-love_n_614015.html

Picture from - http://www.celebrityviplounge.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/jennifer-love-hewitt.jpg

Of Course You Do

Taylor Momsen from "Gossip Girl" is....um how do you say zeeis....ANNOYING A FUCK! Gossip Girl' rock star Taylor Momsen carries a knife. "I have my favorite black knife with me all the time," she told UK's Metro newspaper. "It's a switchblade. It relaxes me to flick it." It doesn't necessarily bother me that she wears garters instead of pants or that she looks like a raccoon or even that she's 16 and looks like a 50 year old hooker. What does bother me is this is all such an act. I use to wear all black when I was 16 because I was so depressed, gothic and something, something, something, the world couldn't handle my truth. I kind of think Taylor is the same way; a Courtney Love wanna-be that doesn't do drugs. Boring. People also get on my shit for telling kids to do drugs but here's a perfect example of me being right and those PTA fuckers being wrong. Taylor needs to drop a bunch of acid and snort a bunch of coke before any takes this act seriously. Go do drugs and you'll be rich, famous and considered a tortured artist. You're welcome for that piece of brilliant and free piece of advice kids now have a great summer!

Story From - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/13/taylor-momsen-i-carry-a-k_n_575086.html
Picture From - http://noonanjohnc.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/4011418527-momsen-t-relate-other-teens1.jpg

Your Mothers Are Retards - Happy Late Mother's Day

Anyone that knows me knows that I'm not a conservative - shit, fuck, piss, tits, bitch - a self loathing asshole, sure, but not a conservative. I saw this video this morning that made my eyes burn it was so inappropriate. Basically it's a dance troop of 7 year old girls wearing bikinis and dancing to "Single Ladies". It's important to note that these girls look like fucking sluts. These kids are thrusting their hips, shaking their asses all while wearing basically nothing. Who the fuck ok'd this? Call me sexist but I'm going to point the finger at their retard mothers who think the only career for their daughters is stay-at-home-mom, midwife, secretary or stripper.

I picture a bunch of older, fat women, stuffing themselves with Cheetos and thinking to themselves "my baby is gonna be the next Britney Spears and we'll get them fancy, endless buffets at Sizzler." They've got to learn to chew the Cheetos first before swolling them whole cuts off the oxygen to their brain which in turns limits their brain function. If those stage whores were really thinking, I'm sure they'd sign these girls up to play the role of "bait" on a show called, "To Catch a Predator". Yeah, that's one step away from Broadway for those fucks.

Link to video: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/12/young-girls-do-beyonces-s_n_573130.html

Picture : http://www.thetartan.org/system/assets/0001/5560/asset_small.jpg

Bitter Doesn't Really Work For You

Christina Aguilera sucks; she's always sucked and she's always acted like a bitch. Honestly, who fucking cares that she has an eight octave range and can sing that stupid song from "Mulan"? She's no Britney and she'll never be as loved as Britney who, by the way, can barely function in regular society.

It must really chap Christian's ass that she's way more talented than Britney but she'll never be able to dethrone a brainless and talentless bag-o-jello that lip syncs for Cheetos. Bitter much? Guess that partially explains what crawled up Christina's butt during a recent interview in which she demanded that someone shoot the reporter that coughed during her interview.

Video link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/26/christina-aguilera-gets-m_n_552599.html

Bitch please! Be as diva-licious as you want but she'll always be referred to as "whatsherface....the wanna be Britney...oh come on, you know who I mean, what's her name again....something XXX porno tron"? She should be nicer and just thankful that she was even allowed to have a career. If this were China, fuck, a girl as tiny and as powerful as she is would have been forced to become an Olympic gymnast or die trying. Count your blessings.

Picture from - https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ-T-41IRsI3oAqNzLSfB9fuxdqLvltTVEzmLbTpGFw5-wPSlBEQYHdZwq6HdRK_FrkbyCPSd89Knnmhpcbdywg3ADrkZb1lnyJksYntUW4twmeeP8oRvs22CO1CNHCObg06nMSuAQIwc/s400/christina-aguilera-bad-makeup-240tp042908.jpg

Story from - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/26/christina-aguilera-gets-m_n_552599.html

I Don't Blame You, Kitten

This poor fucking kitten. Not only is it unwillingly involved in the douche-baggery that is Hollywood, but Kim Big-Boned-Kardashian is holding it by its neck for a Twitter picture. That kitten has hit fucking rock bottom and it isn't even one. It looks like it wants to fucking end its short little life and I don't blame it. If Kim Kardashian ever directly touched me, I'd probably have to cut off the limb to save my soul.

Let's get back to the point though, what the fuck, Kim?!?!? We don't pick you up by your double-wide just because you have excess skin there. Ok well no one has ever really attempted it because because picking her up by her ass would be like a five year old palming a basketball. Only a fucking 10 foot tall Avatar could handle her ass.

Oh and yeah, I'm more than comfortable to call Kim "fat" and "big-boned" even though I'm overweight because I don't treat animals like a prop and then post it on fucking Twitter. She should apologize to that kitten and then get back on her knees to suck of the E! network.

Picture from - http://twitpic.com/1gpmua

Daddy Would Be Proud

Katy Perry went to Coachella this weekend and dressed like a slutty version of Tina Turner from "Mad Max". I guess if I had a body like that I'd be more inclined to dress like a completely whore but I thought she was from a REALLY religious family. I mean, shouldn't she be dressed in long sleeves and screaming that makeup is the devil's crayons?

P.S. My friend who's in the know (wink, wink, because I'm cool like that) says Katy is a bitch and really demanding. Karma is going to catch up to her when her breasts hit the ground and hervagina rips to the size of the grand canyon after giving birth to Russell Brand's baby. You know that baby is coming out with daddy's Mohawk and that shit ain't coming out without ripping something. Karma's a bitch sometimes.

Picture from - http://www.wwtdd.com/2010/04/ohai-katy-perry-at-coachella/

I Love Whores

I love me some whores, especially whores doing random things. They kind of just do what they do and don't give a shit about anything. They don't care about what others think of them, about the speed limit, about their drinks being ruffied or about being accidentally impregnated.

I found this awesome video filled with what else, whores being awesome. They even found a fucking lama to be in their video. Shit yay! Here's to whores! Hip, hip, horay!

http://www.youtube.com/user/marons1?feature=mhw4#p/u/0/_v4CONsTUgQ