Motivation Hard At Work

This is the greatest story I've read all morning. I'm training some fucking chimp-like interns to learn how to make copies so I'm a little behind but still doesn't take away from the story.

An Edgewater man has admitted to stabbing himself in the leg Monday night because he didn't want to go to work.

(sic) He claimed that three skinheads or Hispanic males dressed in black tried to rob him and stabbed him in the lower left leg. (sic) Investigators reviewed surveillance video taken at a nearby business that failed to show an attack where Siebers claimed it had happened. (sic) At that point, Siebers confessed and told them he stabbed himself because he didn't want to go to work, said the police spokesman.

How fucking lazy of a person do you have to willingly stab yourself in the leg just to get out of work? Actually when I read this, I got the impression that this guy was high as shit and he was using some weed-logic to solve his problem. Think about it, he works at Blockbuster for a living, total stoner. It kind of reminded me of the one time when I was high as shit and I wanted some cereal but there were no clean spoons. Instead of just fucking washing one, I used some weed-logic and decided to use a ladle. I was so stoked because I felt like I was cheating the system but weed-logic didn't take into consideration that ladles are used to poor a significant amount of liquid in large bowls as soon as you tilt them. Pouring liquid is what they're designed to do. Weed-logic also didn't give me a quick way to wash my shirt and clean the kitchen floor after so I really just should have washed a fucking spoon. I will, however, give Blockbuster man some points for personal style, flare and originality so he ends up the winner of the weed-logic chronicles.

Story from - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/03/aaron-seibers-stabs-himse_n_344142.html
Picture from - http://static.myce.com/images_posts/2009/09/blockbuster-ray-and-carl.jpg